Dynamo

Chapter 12 is ready, I think you'll really enjoy this one.

Chapter 12: “Hey, Grif?” “Yeah?” “You ever wonder why we’re here?” Simmons asked. “…No, I never, ever wonder why we’re here.” Grif, Simmons and Lopez were on the base’s roof ...

Hmm... interesting. You might want to put more emotion into Lily's reaction of seeing her brother being cut down. There's two ways you can make this chapter work: A) Keep ...

I know there's a lot of spelling and grammar errors, but I posted these chapters last summer. I've edited them since them with the help of all the other critiques ...

Luke noticed Karana coming out from behind the bushes and heading toward them. She obviously wanted to talk to Ilum. Luke decided to give them some privacy and got to ...

Kai felt Audra stiffen under his arm. Something had spooked her. "What is it?" Kai asked. "That guy, I've never seen him around the school before." She pointed to the ...

The fiery arrow soared through the air and hit him in the back. The arrow made a small explosion when it hit him. Kujimaru stopped moving all of a sudden. ...

(That's wrong. Oraza is the Dragonese word for fire, Kkumnar is the word for ice. Tyrant doesn't know that, though, because they're just working on fire right now to practice. ...

11 is ready to be critiqued.

Chapter 11: “Well, I guess I should thank you two idiots for getting me out of there. Tell you what, as a reward I’m not going to kill either of ...

(It's been two days, somebody please post something.)

Karana, Raven and Izuki all screamed when they saw Ilum. "I-I'm sorry!" Ilum tried to say, "I thought-" Izuki picked up a stone and threw it at him. "Get out ...

"Very well," Draco said. "Before I teach you all how to use magic you must first know where the magic must come from. Inside the spirit of every Dragon Knight ...

(Let's make it so some people do get shot but not killed. Now, back to the story.)

Chapter ten is up and ready to go.