Duskglimmer

this sounds like a very interesting beginning. I'm interested in where you're going with it. I just have a few comments: She ran along the windswept beach of silky sand ...

Absolutely honestly, I liked this. I really only had three things that I would change. 1) You seem to use a lot of the same sentence structure. It's alot of ...

Please, don't go messing with my colors! lol. Sounds great, Nate. The logo on the front page is better than it was, but it still looks like you slapped it ...

Just to start off, I'll second what TBR and Dammerung said: this needs to be formated. At the very least it needs to be seperated off into paragraphs and most ...

First, I would ask what a "rubber ducky" was. Then I would wonder who told you that a pair of tweezers could be used a weaponry. Just after that, I ...

More than I'd like. It seems to come with the territory of being the Lady of a sea Clan. Fortunately for me, I have just as many friends. ~Lady L'ira ...

ah... examples... Yeah... I've got a few of those that I could probably give up as well. And I have to say, that just maybe you should cultivate that talent. ...

I'm beginning to learn the usefulness of outlines. I used to just start them when I was within the last few chapters of the book when I was trying to ...

Now, I hope you're not saying that prologues are bad, because a prologue (when properly used) can be really helpful and intriguing. It's just when you try and pack every ...

Well... I'm working on getting into the swing of this story. You all should be happy to know that it now has a title (check out the title of the ...

Most online translators should be double checked against another source (perferably not one that's online). I only know small bits of latin since I learn roots and root words and ...

The same thing I do any other day. Meet with this lord, make a trip to this town, run to make sure you're on time for the meeting with that ...

dumping = bad repeated sentence structure = bad repeated words in too short a time period = bad there are lots of mistakes, but have to say that dumping is ...

I've never had trouble with beginnings... it's usually just fairly obvious to me where I'm supposed to start and what I'm supposed to say. It's keeping it going that I ...

I have to admit, that this is not really my style. However, I do have to say that it was written well and the word choice was good. I really ...