Duskglimmer

Thanks you two. I added a few setences in places near the end. Let me know if it works any better.

I liked this for the most part. was really enjoying the rythm you had going in the first two stanzas, but the last line felt rather sharp and jarring. I'm ...

I really love this. It's an excellent topic and I love how you've portrayed it.

I really enjoyed this with the new revisions. It works so much better and doesn't jump all over the map as it had before. the flow is also much nicer. ...

Q: What would you do... for a Klondike Bar? A: Absolutely nothing. Q: What would you do if a guinea pig army attavked you? A: Stomp on them all until ...

Presidental Campains(sp?)

Villiage (idiot)

Okay... good... is there a particular reason for this question?

get smooshed What would you do if a piano hovered over your head for the rest of your life?

Wow... I really don't know what to say... this is really heavy reading... I don't even know how to comment on it... It certainly evokes a reaction from the reader. ...

I'd start crying myself... What would you do if an army of wallabes invaded your house?

I think the story of this could be good, but the dialouge is extremely unrealistic. I don't know a single guy in the world that talks like this, let alone ...

This is fantastic. I can't tell you just how much this rings true. You did such a great job of capturing the emotions involved. I think that the only suggestion ...

Erm... yes and no... it really depends on how you mean... I have several people that I hang out with and the more we spend time together the more we ...

"it isn't my fault! I'm an American! I'm only 15! I have never even learned to drive a car yet! *claps hand over mouth* I said too much." What would ...