Dreamworx95

I'm not actually a new member, but it's been so long since I've been on YWS, and things have changed so much that I may as well be a noob! ...

Hi Elinor! I'm Dreamworx. I think it's really cool how you started a service here. I'd love for you to make me an avatar. I'll review a few things for ...

The cloaked man light his hands with fire. Lit his hands with fire. The man grabbed Dobliv’s coat setting, it on fire. Comma is in the wrong place. Dobliv screamed ...

TenYo, thank you for the crit. I was a little worried about the character perspectives. Now I know I have to make them a little more distinctive. :) I probably ...

Hey guys. I wrote this a while ago and I'm still thinking I need some more feedback, particularly on what you think of the P.O.V switches, and also how realistic ...

Wow, I was actually impressed with this, which is saying something. Your descriptions are a little obscure, but I like that. The way you write your details makes the reader ...

They were fresh which meant the horses had passed through here not that long ago. Need a comma after 'fresh' I had tracked them for three days now and I ...

A while ago I wrote a fantasy story up to 16 chapters before I decided to trash it completely and start from scratch. The new story I have has the ...

Sup, Cosby? I think you've got a decent start here with an interesting concept and I think you should run with it. But I think a few improvements could be ...

Thank you so much Yoda.

portraying his vain hopes that the breast cancer rate would cease, along with, even in the failing economy, his income of hair-shaving money. Too many commas here. Instead of using ...

Hey thanks Zan. It's always good to hear from you.

I looked up at the house with its faded white siding. The faded white siding I had helped put up when I was twelve. The second part is redundant. I'd ...

Nate told me to give it more time, so here: Hana was lying on her bed reading Seventeen Magazine when her cell phone started ringing. Absorbed in an article about ...

Hah! I loved this. OCD to the max. I have a friend like that and it's hilarious to mess with her. Great job.