Dreami

“Wah!” said Nasaru. Don't use "Wah!" It sounds immature and childish. Change 'said' to something more exciting and change what he says. Maybe 'moaned' or 'whined' or... you get the ...

*mental anguish* Are story starts with the Crinoline family. Our story starts [...] They are a family of eight and they had a REALLY BIG secret that they were hiding ...

Beat those Vikings! Knock 'em out of the Playoffs! xD My poor Green Bay Packers lost today. I swear they're cursed against the Bears. Darn you Packers!

Sure, no problem. I applaud and admire you for taking my critique so well. =) Just keep pushing yourself and writing, and you'll improve.

A lot of people think that snow shoveling is simple and easy. Well, it's not always as easy as people tend to think, but it can be if you know ...

Okay, well I'll post mine that I have been working on for ages, and it actually is rather similar to Gladius in some ways. Great minds think alike, eh? Anyways, ...

Oh yes, I totally agree with what you said Phoebe. In fact, I felt a little nauseous when I read the title, and it vaguely reminded me of a certain ...

Nice. Going off of the first reviewer's comments, I think before you'd have a career in writing, your ego would have to come down a few notches, [see title] because ...

Well, Chapter Two is removed now. Thank you very much for your second edit. I'll be making some changes, including the ones you suggested, before reposting it a few days ...

Well, I'll start with some of my newer stuff, and then get around to posting some of my older stuff. I love photography and am a huge shutterbug. I'm quite ...

Is this too big? I was hoping I'd get some more reviews? I can split it up if it would help people out. ^.^ I know it's a large section ...

Thank you very much for the review, this is the rough rough draft. I need to print it out and slaughter my own paper. My friends make fun of me ...

I'm running through a forest that you just set on fire. Its flames lick at my feet and my head starts to ring. It burns as if the sun had ...

If I could kill this story and make sure no one ever found it, I would. For now, I'm just deleting it.

Okay... Version Two, because frankly, like most of my stories, Version One sucked. Details have been added, some imagery has been changed, and stuff has been cleared up. More reviews ...