Dreami

Hey all! I'm terrible at poetry - I know absoloutely nothing about it, but this is for school and I need reviews desperately. It's a poem where we have to ...

Jonathan drove me nuts... I never liked him as a character, he was rather whiny. I'm so glad it's her and George!

1. Finish my novel, Esrydil. 2. Not spend so much time on the computer. 3. Qualify for the Regional Dressage Championship in September [horse show] 4. Participate in a 3-day ...

Banned for having exactly half as many reviews as posts.

Okay, This is mainly directed at Nate and all mods: While browsing YWS, my antivirus programs [eTrust EZ Antivirus] pops up on every single page displaying some Temporary Internet File ...

The Patriots are like a machine. Their whole team is amazing - perfect, even, at times. I was also cheering for the Giants. Tom Brady may be the best Quarterback ...

The Patriots are 16 - 0. :x

Banned for having 99 Reviews. XD XD XD! hehehe. - Dreami

Question

Banned for having an icon that gives me a headache!

A catchy little prologue. You probably could have just attached it to the first section though, it's so short. I'm also a short story writer attempting a long story. If ...

She looked through the peephole to see a distorted view. [Awkward phrase at the end, change the final word.] She backed up a bit and let [gave] herself time to ...

Oh, very cool! If you could review my story, here are the links to Chapter One and Two: Thank you very much. If you can just get to one because ...

Chapter Two is now up! Here's the link to those interested! ^.^

Not a bad start to a story. You definately have it down, it is rather info-dumpy to begin with. But I do like the strong opening, it catches the reader's ...