DragonWriter

okay, first off, this is already boring. I know that was cruel, but it is. Make your chracter have at least one fault. Right now, your chracter, art, sounds too ...

This is quite a nice story. I love your amount of details and how you described your chracter. I cannot wait to read more. The amount of suspence is perfect, ...

"So what now.", said amber. She was gently playing with the new born, helping it streghthen it's wet wings. It was having a little trouble moving one wing, and she ...

" Two Canidfate's at a time will come up here a stand in front of the ready tot's. If they come up to you, you will offer them a peice ...

"So, do you know who is going to be bonded?" Amber asked. Ruby taped amber on the shoulder 3 times. Amber then grabbed her egg puch arround her neck, and ...

Amber jumped on ruby and took off aiming for kerased. Ruby flew upbide of Iraska. "Man, You forget that I am a exception to the rest of the hatchers? The ...

Amber had nver before ridden her partner, but was not a coward. Shge knew he was old enough to fly her, and so decided to do so. "dO you mine" ...

"He is doing just fine." She glanced at her partner standing 7 feet tall. " However, the reason your here is to assign partner. I have 2 tots that are ...

Name:Amber gender:female job:hatcher apperence: a belt with 8 patchyes that constly has eggs in them. a neclace that has a puuch keeps one egg that is the closst to hatching ...

This is better. However , I would like to see some verried beginigs. He and she are ok begings of sentens in restraint but not one after the other. ALso, ...

I have edited,as best as i can with my limited abbilities.

Shadalina waits till the dragon is in the one guys hands, till she attacks. She turns into a gient spider and uses her webbing to tie up the two men. ...

Shadalina was walking down the road, not being noticed by no one. Suddenly she heard some commotionj down a darkned alleyway. She saw a small dragon, tied up, being traded ...

Shadalina waked over to yeron and asked "Sir, what do you want me to do, Sir?". She then sat down to wait for her commands.

Thanks you all for the crits. I will try to edit it soon, however i will be soon reading herry potter 7, so i will get to it tueday.