DisposableHero

I'm reading it at the moment and I love it. I don't see how a story-line like hers could be considered flat. I have not read any of her other ...

I think this story would be better if it were longer. Good idea and message, but you could definately improve it. Well done though.

I think that was a lot better than the first one, well done! It's weird that you've switched from diary type entries to a more narrative style with a few ...

That is a very stereo typical view to take of teenage girls, but you did portray what you wanted to. A little less dialogue maybe. I think it would be ...

Omg...I did that before and nearly cried, lol. Got to about 50.

I really like it. The way you balance dialogue and description works well and the characters are definately interesting. Maybe you should make the first paragraph a little different though, ...

Hey there and welcome! This piece is full of raw emotions and it's very well written. The one thing I would say is that it's not the most unique of ...

I really liked this. Your writing style is engaging and I was interested in the story from the start. Crowds of grief stricken parents surrounded the car This kind of ...

Hey, DisposableHero! I like your writing style very much- it's emotional, but very beautiful and flows without a hitch. You have an interesting conflict, too, which is always nice to ...

Hi Jane! I've already read and critiqued your first work. Hope you have fun! :) Thank you! I'll go check now:)

Hey, Jane! I am also Jane. xD You can call me Jenna, though, so it doesn't get confusing. Welcome to YWS! What do you write? How long have you been ...

I loved it because it was just so original and quite educational at the same time.

Emm..well I'm new here and just wanted to introduce myself, as the email I just recieved suggested, ha. Well, I'm 16, from Ireland and I love to read and figured ...

[/url] I'm aware I look very young compared to most of you..oh well.

Her limp body was thrown carelessly upon the cold, hard cement, devoured by the unforgiving world. An image that is etched into my disturbed mind. The violent red blood that ...