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Re: Of White, Of Black, of Blood- Chapter 3
Chapter 3 is very short, and it may be unclear. Just let me know! Reviews are awesome!!! :D Chapter 3 Stowaway The Lady Freiheit was a large trade ship, sturdily ...
Jan 23, 2009 -
Re: Crystal Stars, Chapter 2: Taken to a paradise prison
I'm terrible at grammar so forget it. Hi! I love your story! It's very vivid, clear, precise, descriptive... Only a couple of things: 1. Um, how old is Nova? Is ...
Jan 23, 2009 -
Re: Just pure randomness
It was a brainwave! PURE RANDOMNESS The council of the Dawn was meeting in the small room looking over the Waters of Eternity. They were discussing some very important business. ...
Jan 23, 2009 -
Re: What would YOU do?
Say "You've caused me so much remorse.I was a BIRD not RHINO or a PENGUIN. Gimme the shoelaces and hand over the beak. We need to clear up some buisness." ...
Jan 23, 2009 -
Re: Of White, Of Black, of Blood- Chapter 2
Alright! Ayïve is back! Oh, and please don't criticize me about the way you spell it. I know what it means, it helps you pronounce it. I took away the ...
Jan 23, 2009 -
Re: M.I.A.
So... Good thing: You are using a style of writing I haven't seen recently: a kind of Nancy Drew-fast-forward-adult-science style. It's often used in adult books, in a straightforward, dull ...
Jan 17, 2009 -
Re: Hidden by the Dark-Chapter 1
So, Chapter 1. Thanks for all the reviews/criticism. Under lots of pressure, I removed almost all of the funky symbols in names. Unless of course you count Ayïve's name, which ...
Jan 3, 2009 -
Re: House of the Rising Sun
Ooh! Nice beginning. Actually, great beginning. I am no good at grammar, so I'm sorry, I'll just be reviewing. Great Thing I loved your preface. Besides the fact that it ...
Jan 3, 2009 -
Re: N/A
Alright then! So, about the story... Good thing: You have a great idea, a story about torture. The way you wrote it was enough to make me feel freaked out ...
Jan 2, 2009 -
Re: In the eye of a fish
Alright. I'm horrible at grammar, so I'm going to skip just to reviewing. I love you description of the Universe, but it felt overly complicated and dense. When I started ...
Jan 2, 2009 -
Re: Flight-Prologue
Thanks Sakura. And just to say to anybody else who reads this, the Greek letters are just a kind of break in the text, like switching characters and such. Also, ...
Dec 31, 2008 -
Re: One Night
Your poem has a good theme and moral, or whatever you want to call it. However, I agree that the rhymes are a little flat and predictable. :lol: I know ...
Dec 31, 2008 -
Re: Dance
Wow...I can't really say this cleverly, but, you captured dance perfectly . I dance myself and I can understand what you are trying to say, how each and every movement ...
Dec 31, 2008 -
Re: Flight-Prologue
This is my first post, so sorry for any the way, my book is separated into prologue and part 1 and so on by parts of the day. First we ...
Dec 31, 2008 -
Re: Greetings from Daydreams
Hi. I go by DestinyIsCalling online, though you can call me just about anything. Except "Pocket Organizer." I'm so tired of hearing that. Anyways, I enjoy READING, writing, READING, dancing, ...
Dec 31, 2008
