Deathcurrent

I like how you pointed out that women need a man, but that many also don't need a man. It shows how women have become more independent and that there ...

Chapter 2 Unconscious Satyr 101 I looked toward Sarah, who was sneaking through the trees toward Walter. Snow was falling and covering the ground. The trees were starting to get ...

Great, though it was a little confusing at the beginning. Try to use the main characters name (Ari that is) a little more often. Cut back on some of the ...

Great poem! I like how you use repetition to empathize that the tree is dying. I think the ending was a little short, but very emotional! Keep up with the ...

Wow, I'll be sure to look into it.

It's a interesting story, there are somethings that you should take note of though. It's a little long, making it harder on reviewers, like myself, to read. Try putting it ...

I think 4 would be a great choice.

Wait a minute, what is going on? A little more detail before can go a long way. It sounds like a good start, but some more background information would really ...

I enjoy where this is going. I hope to read more of this story, but I do have a few comments. You use pronouns a little too much. Try to ...

Very inspirational! Congrats on your win by the way. I've always had some trouble with those two. I like how you made the negative a guy and the positive a ...

I hope to get it tomorrow!

Chapter 1 I Kill the Coffee Table Part Two I nodded and went down the hall, passing the living room and turning down the hallway. I turned right after going ...

This part sounds a little strange to me. Final bus? One bus comes per each day. No final buses. Then having the name in all caps then having them like ...

Nice. If you make this into a music video, you'll have to post the link. I enjoyed the chorus. It seems to explain what every one feels, yet what is ...

Watch out for some grammatical issues. At the end one that was most prominent to me was the "Im". It threw me out of the poem. Which is amazing and ...