DarkerSarah

I rewrote the second part of my story, if you'd like to read it and comment on it. I put in a little more detail. I think it's better. -Sarah

This is such a good start. The main two things I don't like are the name 'Bob' and the fact that they all just woke up in front of this ...

You've inspired me to rewrite this part. I'll do that, and then edit this post. Is your story posted on these boards? I'd love to read it! And good luck ...

I appreciate your comment greatly. The ten years is, indeed, figurative. You're right, it is too short. It's hard for me to go into great detail when I've got an ...

Harry is going to die, I'm pretty sure, not until book seven, of course. Harry doesn't annoy me. Ron annoys me in the movies. I like him so much better ...

I really like the beginning when you are describing the ship. I wish you took as much time (or more) on describing and introducing the characters. I think that this ...

Thanks to the er...4 people who reviewed the first part of this. If you would like to read the introduction please go here: Part I . Even though I appreciate ...

Haha...I think it's important to know your parts of speech and grammar when writing a story so: adjectives: descriptive words, i.e. pretty, sad, monstrous...adverbs modify a verb: slowly, very, merril

I think you could be on to something here. The dialogue is very good. There is just one piece of advice I have to offer: when editing, always lose the ...

Awe! I agree with ElectricBlueMonkey that he really just needs to add more detail. I'm not really sure about the blowing up the school thing...But it sounds like he's got ...

This is the opening to a novel I have in my head. Hopefully, it will eventually get put onto paper. I know it needs revising, and I'd really like some ...

A rose-petal morning rose over the Nightlands. I really like "rose-petal morning" but I don't think you should use "rose" twice in that sentence, even though their denotations are different. ...

This moves pretty quickly, and gets the reader interested in what's going to happen. Since there really isn't much to review, and as others have covered most of what I'd ...

I had to read The Hunchback for my AP Senior English class, and I rarely like books I'm assigned to read, so I didn't even consider liking this one. Even ...

Hi guys! I'm glad to be here. I'm really interested in writing, and hope to someday write The Great American Novel. Ha ha...but isn't that all of our wish? I'm ...