DSF6647

Don't worry about my feelings, rip this thing to shreds Let me know if you want the rest. Hahaha, half the reason I am reviewing this is because of the ...

Not really sure what this all is and what sort of a review your looking for, but I am still going to post one. there is a place where voices ...

OCC: If no one cares I am going to get the whole Council business rolling… Nhara Alamea | Council Chambers Pride was a fault some said, but Nhara was feeling ...

At the thought of you, my heart starts to ache; a familiar one since you left. This sentence was confusing. What was familiar? Was it the ache or something else? ...

I looked outside the window, the Sun was playing with sky, sometimes showing up, and sometimes not, or it was scared as it was thundering outside, maybe the poor baby ...

What was the point, it wasn’t like she was there. I almost feel like you should make his into two sentences. Just my opinion, but I think it would flow ...

Hahaha no problem Isha, glad to help :)

I think what Isha is saying Blue is that Tarasel probably wouldn't want to use his control over Aban is such a public place where it might be obvious. If ...

*DELETED* Sorry i double posted.

OCC; Okay Betheny here is your rescue :) Lynx | Market Square She was silent. Not a word passed her lips as people hurled insults and taunts at her. Some ...

The tea swished and curled rapidly as she set it gently on the mahogany table. I like this description a lot, but using the word “curled” sounds a bit awkward ...

Mwhahaha I love it all. Shadowlight I love that Hector will treat his mother like she is made of china glass. That is perfect, and she will balk at being ...

But, that afternoon had brought with it a strange breeze, gentle, but most powerful l in its reaching distance, far more than I could imagine. So this sentence sounded a ...

Okay so I only did the first part of your story. It all still needs quiet a bit of work, but you are doing good so keep at it :) ...

Nhara Alamea | Castle Nhara’s eyes slowly opened and she took in a long, deep breath. It’s another day, she thought, and I am still alive. She silently thanked the ...