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Re: Depersonalisation
This was not intended to be any sort of literary piece. It's more like a diary entry that I needed to release in order for it to feel less insignificant; ...
Nov 30, 2011 -
Re: Termination (Edited!)
Edit: made a number of changes to achieve greater clarity, as remember20 suggested- thankyou!
Jun 19, 2011 -
Re: Dear Kitty
I miss you. I miss the how your house's strange cat-food smell clung to all your clothes and lingered wherever you'd been. I miss sitting curled up together in an ...
Jun 17, 2011 -
Re: Termination (Edited!)
Anyone?
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: Termination (Edited!)
Forgive me for this, it's my first rough draft. I expect to rewrite it 2 or 3 more times before it's final, but was hoping to get some initial reactions ...
Jun 15, 2011 -
Re: --
I think this is one of my favourite poems i've read on here. The rhythm and full rhyme make it flow magnificently, and your imagery is enchanting. I'm not entirely ...
Jun 15, 2011 -
Re: Kathryn
Thanks Redfang :) Any one else?
Jun 15, 2011 -
Re: Truly Greatful
I love this, it's so beautiful- your words seem to flow effortlessley and your emotion is awe-inspiring. This line is just... so wonderful: You and I have history to make ...
Jun 15, 2011 -
Re: Swagger
I could imagine it making a good rap! Not sure if this is the right section for it, though... Also, without meaning to be rude, what's a weeble?
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: hurt
Without meaning to be harsh... it sounds very emo... Slightly navel gazing...: I slit my wrists to watch the blood fall, in precious pools on the floor Try to be ...
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: Ducks
The last line really made me laugh out loud. I think it worked more because it broke from the rythm you'd built in the previous stanzas. A nice change!
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: Until Then
This is beautifully written but, i'll be honest, to me, it reads more like prose than poetry. Perhaps because of the amount of speech throughout? But please, don't take that ...
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: The Sorrows of Mother Earth
This is beautiful. Normally, i dislike long lines in poetry but i felt that in this one, it really worked. I'm not sure about the enjambement here: I knew him. ...
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: Kathryn
I’ll be here for you. When your eyes haze over, And you are blind To life’s blurred meaning. I’ll hear your calls, hold your hand, Pull you from the precipice. ...
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: Lady Justice
Cold and hard. Silently, you dictate to me My lifestyle, emotions. Blindly, i follow your lead. Stepping stone to failure, You pose as precurser to success. The gluttonous craves the ...
Jun 13, 2011
