Clo

There's one more section to this short story after this one. ______________ Three weeks passed. Bo called me, telling me to get to Ana’s house immediately. When I walked through ...

Half elf and half human he had the pointed ears of an elf but stood at a normal height and would only live for half a century. There should be ...

Woo! You use the word "static" in three consecutive paragraphs, one per paragraph. It makes the word stand out awkwardly, so change at least one of these words for a ...

Wowwee, I can just talk about myself here? This is so ego-tastical. :P And I enjoy reading everyone elses. My name is Crystal, and I'm still new here. But I'm ...

I now no longer know who the funniest man alive is. It was always George Carlin. It's also a nostalgia thing with me. I grew up listening to George Carlin ...

This is well-written, and I like how it begins. The boy angrily brushed his sweat drenched black hair aside Sweat drenched = sweat-drenched. Each were large and burly boys, most ...

I only skimmed the other comments, so I'm sorry if I repeat nit-picks. :oops: He was a mythological being who eventually created the wide expanses of the sea that covered ...

Thank you, both of you! :D You're absolutely right about the dialogue, that will make it sound way more natural. And I love your advice, about assuming the character and ...

Thanks for the feedback. Of course you can use it in your signature, Sam! :smt053 I feel flattered. And you're right about cardboard characters. Must fix that upper... Thank you ...

Please feedback, please. :smt058 ____________ “My daddy was a whimpering sack of a man. He liked to run his hands all over me. When mommy found out, she screamed and ...

Alice finally settled on a bowl of stale, dry Peanut Butter Crunch without milk because the fridge was void of that necessity as well Where's Waldo? I mean Alice... :lol: ...

Present tense! How rare. :D We will all share a little piece of the story, different words, but with the same ending. I do really like this sentence, but it ...

Maybe this will help? :smt100 Four Amelia felt claws digging into her forearms, her feet giving out beneath her as she was roughly pushed to the ground. A scream escaped ...

*dancing* I love this piece, I love this piece... You've developed an intriguing, bizarre character. You've chocked the plot full of interesting concepts. He was a strange person...he was the ...

Not enough shapeshifter stories! Bring 'em on. :D That made a second question: Where was I? I don't like this sentence, with a question being "made". I think there's boundless ...