Clo

Mmm...hotdogs. The Beginning : is too abrupt and random. It's just simply dialogue, no description. You need to add the slightest bit of description here, even it it's just a ...

3/10 I disagree.

Okay, so I'm out of work until August so I have so much free time on my hand it hurts. Please relieve me of my pain and give me some ...

5/10 There were funnier things said in Twilight, I think. :P

I Believe in Symmetry in your pants. hehehe, I like this game

They like lights against a window pane They are like Snow falls from the roof as I slam the door and when I turn the key ice dislodges from the ...

I really love your style of writing, so I trust you to be a kick-butt and ruthless critic. :D I need reviews on anything, really. Click on my portfolio and ...

Oh wise Professor Rabbit... I need any reviews whatsoever. Could you pick anything out of my portfolio as you so desire? :D

Chapter 1: The Chosen I hate to be "that person" pointing out cliches, but I think you can pick a much better title for this chapter. "Chosen" people is extremely, ...

Sardines! :D

Thick emotions pulse along my veins I don't care much for this sentence. It's surrounded in wonderful sentences, and then I read this... blech. I can see that there is ...

9/10 Darnit!! It's a trap!!

Banned for being jealous. :wink:

Not Sophie, Demeter. Though I DO have a cat named Sophie. :wink: And oh, darn! Let me try again with you: Persephone? :lol:

Jessica? (Haha... Jessica Rabbit) Wait, 10 letters? Um. Marrianne?