Cicero

Are you hungry or something?...

It's been a long, narrow pathway. I've had to drag colossal shadoes and gigantic blocks of tin. It's "shadows" first of all. What has been a long narrow pathway? Your ...

Nice. However, I don't understand the ending. Does the boy get in a fight? Is life beating him down? Please explain. The burning bush metaphor is quite good.

I only give strong crits. For future reference - it's nothing personal. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Killing poems, however... :twisted:

you speak paradoxical phenomenons and your heart is an aura of arrogance Sounds cool, but overdone, and it challenges the reader too immediately. my friend, where are you going? The ...

Clearly you have made a decision about how to live your life. I have done the same. We all have to face the consequences of our decisions. I wash my ...

Brad, I think the problem I see with your response is not the fact that you are not following my advice. When it comes down to it, you're right, it ...

Okay, I am swamped with work and school right now. I will get back to it in a few days.

Why do you post your poems if you utterly disregard criticism?

Thanks for reading, Koi. I really appreciate the help. But what to do about that one phrase... :? Does this work better? Anyway... here's the revamp: "Indiscretion" I’ve come to ...

Errr, thanks? I like the dancing elephant best.

Good God people, poems do NOT have to rime. Stop riming - it makes the poem awful. I couldn't even get through the piece, the riming is so forced. Please ...

I watch you twist old newspapers, clip twigs, unroll vines, pile them into a shape that will burn, The way you worded this a little confusing. Perhaps instead: "I watch ...

"Maybe I'm too young to sit on beer soaked steps and watch the night bleed violently into day" Oooohhh, shivers! Very very nice image. Perhaps the best I've seen yet ...

Wow, we must think alike... I posted a poem along a similar vein before I read this... it's called "Shatter." In the ninth verse it should be "it's" with an ...