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Re: I miss you
Yup, it was short and straight to the point, so I like it. It was great. Here we met, The sun had already set. It should be "The sun 'was' ...
Sep 6, 2008 -
Re: Pass Her By
I like it. It was great. It really had a deep meaning. About an attraction and the about the person's soul, life or existence. And it shows the persons love. ...
Sep 6, 2008 -
Re: Death of a hero 3
This story is becoming more and more interesting. Good work. “How happy you are, wretched mortal…” Good start. Hands were holding him down to the ground as he was struggling ...
Sep 6, 2008 -
Re: Death of a hero 2
Oooh, the second chapter. **rubs hands togethor** Right, let me see, He woke up but didn’t open his eyes not daring to leave that pleasant numbness that was left in ...
Sep 6, 2008 -
Re: BloodLust chapter 1 part 1
Another story of vampires. Okay, let me rip this apart. Just kidding. :wink: I looked up into the sky. It was dark and cold, too cold. It was always dark ...
Sep 6, 2008 -
Re: Diva
That was a great poem. It had a deep meaning. Which I couldn't ponder on. You had used so many metaphors and really great phrases. Into a flower of the ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: A Vampire Story CH.1
I really liked your story. I mean it was not like regular vampire stories. So I liked it. But there was one question. Was your character a boy or a ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: Melosica - Prologue
Well, I can say that the part about the king and the sword ans the part about the boy and the girl (whoever they are) doesn't match. Or it something ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: Death of a hero
Somehow, this reminds me of "The lord of the rings" Well done, this certainly is great. But I want to point out that when writing a dialogue, you should put ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: A Day's Diamond
Your poem was great and interesting. But, as smorgishborg says, you had repeated some metaphors and it didn't help your poem. A rising light glints at the horizon. The horizon ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: New Day
Well, I can say that you had tryed to make this more meaningful and interesting, and you had. But only with the words, but not with the lines or the ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: Ghost of the past... (rewritten, please read)
I can't say anything important about this because I'm don't know that much about poems. But I can say that if you kept your spacing between two lines to one ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: Enough for the Two of Us.
I nearly cried when I read this. :cry: Your story was that emotional and sad. Yes, the best part of it was the part where you had written about George ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: Delihla Bee-
Hmm, this doesn't make a connection with the first part of the story. Oh well, it was written well. :) Nit-picks, God, why must she call me in that shrill ...
Sep 5, 2008 -
Re: Smoking Camels on Your Grave
Ooooh, I really liked it. I mean loved it. The way you had written it, it was so emotional. I mean, the way you shed tears and smiled and showed ...
Sep 4, 2008
