ChernobyllyInclined

This was ridiculously good. And not because your writing is perfect but because the characters are SO REAL. I read about the same characters so often that I despair of ...

Wow. Very intriguing. But again, their relationship doesn't seem too realistic. I blocked Chester during lunch, “We need to talk.” “There’s nothing to talk about.” “Yes, there is,” I rep

Brilliant, you added more! Okay, this was good and you definitely kept the tension; important. What I noticed was that Sarah's reactions are not too terribly realistic. Why is she ...

Hehe...I was afraid you were going to be really mad at me. Its hard to take critical feedback but you obviously are intelligent enough not resist it. Thats comforting. Anyway, ...

This was kind of flat. You did a lot of telling and not very much showing. There needs to be more action, more character development. Perhaps start it out at ...

Hmmm...The writing was okay. But the story was blatantly unoriginal. Anyone whose even HEARD about Twilight would be able to tell that you are simply copying it. If you like ...

The writing was good, along with the punctuation and grammar, which I suppose go together. But the story was nothing new. I'm not exactly sure what you could do to ...

seems odd to put something on here that you wrote four years ago that you agree is really dumb. Usually, if you decide to put something you wrote a while ...

This was truly fantastically better. I did not expect this great of an improvement with as little time as you had. The characters are MUCH better developed, the dialogue is ...

This was interesting. I think I liked it. It flowed fairly well and the description was vivid, pretty. My only criticism would be about the characters. I feel like they ...

Hmmm...yep, you're perfect. 'Nuff said, as silly, less then worthy Peter Pan might say.

I already told you, in this kind of story, it GETS background, only, it comes slowly. I only know of a few damn good writers that can make you understand ...

Little copycat. I'M the one who reviews my own stories when no one else will. Damn. This definitely flowed well. It wasn't choppy, the way it was before, but it ...

This could be interesting. It just needs some work. Felix brushed his hair back, running his fingers through his hair. You repeated the word,'hair'. Change the sentence to avoid the ...

To be perfectly honest, you love this story. It is now newly edited and the next chapter will be added soon in the same thread. ___________ ‘I can breath under ...