ChernobyllyInclined

Noperiam

Hmmmm...This was okay. I thought the second chapter was better than the first. Characters: You need to focus on Alicia more. Her character seems a little flat. All we know ...

lala

Thanks for the review! VERY much appreciated. I think you're right. I like making teenagers act like children but I need to specify their age to keep away unnecessary confusion. ...

I do like it, if were to venture at honesty, but I agree with the above reviewer. He doesn't exactly sound like who he is describing himself to be. I ...

I liked the main idea and that dream was most CERTAINLY interesting. Want to know more about that... You need to put the dream in italics, it's extremely confusing if ...

Thanks, Squishy. You are right, this will not involve vampires in any way and will also lean FAR away from any kind of mushy romance. (If any romance at all). ...

Ah, the difficulty of light and fluffiness. Keep trying for I seriously cannot pin down what is annoying me about this story.

Thanks so much, both of you, for the reviews! I edited it a little and I hope I've implemented some of your suggestions, for they were all very helpful. Thanks ...

Yeah, yeah.

parley or parsley or whatever

gobsh

i put fire on you

I knew I was doing that. I could tell. I just didn't know how acute it was. I might just throw that one out - of the contest, I mean ...

This was not very good. It was all telling and no showing and you tend to repeat yourself alot. All of the concepts were cliche and nothing about it catches ...