Charlii101

sweet to write about your dog! :D just a few changes in beween paragaphs why don't you out me and my dog my dog and me then carry on with ...

loving all the pictures especialy the banner these are really good you should take the perfesion of a photographer but i bet you have already thought of that befor i ...

oooo harsh poetry, i like the dearyness and the doomed ending also the darkness to this it gives the reader somethign to grasp onto to read more! keep going!

Max showed Kirsty to the shop he was talking about and they walked in, the shop assistant appeared out of no where and greeted them "Hi, I’m Amanda anythin i ...

this is good but try and do seperate lines when ever some talks e.g "hey get back here!" Bob yelled "No!" Cindy yelled back every time some one new talks ...

Love the atmosphere created in the story! you used good devices and kept the reader wanting to read on, just add to the characters surroundings like where she is describe ...

Love how this can refeer to every girl one problem i find it more a poem/blog than a story try at add a personality to it and a story line ...

i don't really understand but i don't understand poetry really but really good use of devices linking it all together. try and make it more understandable for someone like me ...

keep writting keep writting keep writting this has just left me hanging off my seat i am loving the cliff hanger and it's got all that a story needs to ...

Kirsty couldn't sleep, she tossed and turned, the mattress wasn't lumpy and the pillow was as soft as ever. But she knew why she couldn't sleep. Max. He was on ...

not really getting the story here i got a bit consued to the whole story line you should try and space it out abit add some feelings like romance or ...

can't believe this happened to you!! i don't really know what to put really but it's not really a story more bloggish like add some drama and more of a ...

I'm liking how the story bulids up to this devistating end really good how you played the story giving the fire a personality like it was tornting the family but ...

I understand this was rushed but you should always read through your stories first i didn't understand what this was on about at all! i didn't get the story line ...

Kirsty sat on the sofa, her mum had her head back with a facial mask on and her iPod earphones in. Kirsty's mobile was twitching in her hands as she ...