Charliebo

All the night while he slumbers So very far away I lie and watch the window where The wordless raindrops play And the moon makes them glow Silver in the ...

I don't suggest you make this longer, but i do suggest that you make more of the first couple of lines. They're just sort of there so that the last ...

hello! Welcome to yws! Firstly, great title. I don't think that i've heard it written by anyone else before. So that's a fab start. I immediately wanted to read. However, ...

Day becomes a simple word And hours hard to keep When you're waking in a different place from Where you went to sleep The world's a box you've opened But ...

heya natanoona. That should really be changed to your actual name. This is a lovely piece. there was just enough for me to digest. Any longer, it would have ruined ...

Thank you all very much for your fab comments! I thought for the sake of others who may or may not read this, i'd explain it a little more. I ...

was the person who wrote that this is plagiarism really serious, because that, my friends, is improper use of the word. For further reading see... no wait, i don't have ...

a seriously revised and condensed version of a very old poem of mine. i feel this one is a lot better in many ways. would appreciate your opinion. ^^ After ...

hey bexarama. How you doin my lover? I have a random suggestion that isn't necessarily connected with this piece. Have you ever written any non-rhyming poetry? It's called prose poetry ...

thanks. :) Although, i just wrote high-calibre because i'm from britain, and we spell words wierdly over here!

An end is rarely ever the end. In fact, it is safe to assume that something always follows after. There is a consequence guaranteed. However, as Peony stares numbly at ...

hey, that's great! Very Japanese. I do think that you should put fish break instead of fish breaks, but it depends; i don't know anything about haikus! I really like ...

excellent!!

Well, Nat, i love this poem! I think it's really very good. It's beautifully descriptive and metaphorical. Wonderful. I would point out that you said shield when you might have ...

hello... this is a somewhat... belated reply to Cade's comment, as i think that it's important to highlight for anyone that might read this poem sometime. Basically, i can see ...