CastlesInTheSky

Some nitpicking of mine: They were standing at the bottom of our drive next to a bossy red car, A bossy car? Not sure I've ever heard of that one ...

It had been a long two years that passed by; A better way of phrasing this is: It had been a long two years had had passed by. That's just ...

This is a story that I decided to write inspired by me and a friend. We were talking about what we would name our child, when and if we had ...

“There goes that impostor!” the priest cried. He gestured towards the doorway where just seconds ago a bloodied, beaten man had gone through. “He claims himself to be the Messiah! ...

I have gone over this for a few weeks, and it's my first proper novel-type thing i've managed to finish. This is only the first part. The second is coming ...

alright, so my last two poems haven't been very great. so, i have two strikes (in my mind, anyway). this is my last try at poetry...three strikes and I'm lets ...

Once I entered the front room again, Kate had already moved to the other side of the table, I think she could tell that I didn’t want to talk to ...

October 10, 1692 "No! Let go of me!" "You're not going anywhere, little witch." The man said gruffly, as he tried to drag me onto the back of the wagon. ...

My advice is: less of the exclamation marks - this makes it immature. Instead, use verbs and adverbs that transmit strong feelings. You keep forgetting capital letters - any literate ...