Cassandra

Well, you're way ahead of a lot of people. Sheesh, if you've already written a novel, you've blown a lot of us out of the water. The vast majority of ...

Upstate New York. Fun, fun, fun. :?

So cool, Nate. *Runs off to check it out*

It makes me think of triangles. And geometry. And math. Ew. --Scarlett Which is your favorite season of the year and why?

Was the stick sharp?

heavy

My eyes!! They burn!!!!!!!!!! ^Okay, that was two sentences. But whatever.

The main thing to fix is all the "..."s/ellipses. In most of the places you used them, a period or comma would've probably done the job just as well, and ...

She just goes, ‘Jack, lemme do your hair,’ and so I’m like ‘okay, go crazy Doll.’ And she did.” Should be: go crazy , Doll. Just add that little comma ...

*raises hand* Ooh, I'd like to see them! It's very cool that you collect these. I wish I collected something cool. *pouts* :D

Usually when someone posts a piece in the lit forums they're looking for someone to read and critique their work. Maybe next time you should post a note along with ...

A novel is not considered a short story no matter the word count at the moment, because it's obviously not a complete story yet, right? A novel is different than ...

You may want to look at some other people's work before you post your own. As Nate said in the rules: 4. Before posting either your first poem or story, ...

The dialouge in this is a little forced. Listen to how people around you speak and try to incorporate that into your own writing. Also, as Brian pointed out, this ...

Hehe. That was fun. I just added a bit as well. :D