CaptainLarenMapstone

Thanks! I took out the first couple paragraphs and started with "I first met the Count at the Temple." I have also decided to get rid of the Dragons and ...

Wow! Thanks. I felt like there were lots of holes but I didn't really understand them until you pointed them out to me. Really it felt like I was gut-punched ...

No problem!! I love psychological stories and yours is one of he best I've seen on here!!

The story moved quite fluidly ,but I found myself skipping over sentences as if I knew what was coming. I think that for the main character you portray his thoughts ...