Calmal

This looks like a really interesting story. You have considered th plot and characters. I suspect great things.

This is the First Chapter of "Tainted Life" set in the future Chapter 1: Return to Terra Commodore Joseph Murphy. Carefully manoeuvring through the asteroid belt and seeing Earth race ...

I like you story as it has great potential though you may want to show greater thought about the time frame. Some of those things seem a bit modern, but ...

There are very few errors that I can notice in this piece which shows that you take great pride in your work. The plot shows great promise and I would ...

A really intersting plot, one that craves attention. It causes a little snippet of mystery, perfect for the ideal novel. It does seem to be rather confusing at the beginning ...

This story has great potential which you have shown through your attention to detail. You have carfully though about the 5 W's (Who, Where, When, Why and What) essential to ...

Its a good story but maybe a prologue to help us understand the current situation within your story. Where is the soil? Why is there so many chemicals etc. This ...

This first page does draw my attention and looks interesting. However if the narration was in the past tense "scurried" it is more flexible. Other than that a good start!

In 2093, thousands of radioactive meteors pummelled the Solar System. Hundreds of huge space craft left Earth in a chaotic mass to find help yet thousands were left behind to ...