Butterfly18

When I get stuck on a scene and I'm trying to figure out exactly how it goes,I sketch it out. Like so, Really helps when you have a visual of ...

Hello, Soulkana. Going to give my opinion on a few things. “Let us burn down this village. It will be the perfect location for conquering the Northern lands, My Lord.” ...

Hello, Jennya. I liked this. Dragons and yeah, 'nuff said. :) I really liked this, She blankly stared at the burning corpse. How could a human? How could anybody? She ...

Hello, AriannaK. First of all, I like this story, it's very interesting. One thing I noticed first though is this, A little over an hour later, Cora arrived at Summer’s ...

Hello, cookEmonster. First thing I noticed was this, I felt my eyes bulge out of my head and my mouth drop open in total shock. "Wh-What?!" I stuttered. These should ...

Hello, Gamergirl. Few things: I don't get this bit. I held in all my rage and swallowed it, in one dry, bitter, sour gulp. It was then I remembered something. ...

Okay, first thing, aquatica. Paragraphing. Whenever a new character speaks, there is a change in Point of View, the meaning, concept etc changes its a new paragraph. Second, Your punctuation. ...

I thought you said you changed this bit? The sweet scent of summer field flowers tickles my mind, sweeping away the ground below me with a deaf lullaby of mixed ...

Thanks. I'll reply to your post on my wall. :)

Hello, FutureFamousWriter. First of all, I like the story. It reminds me of Supernatural. Things I noticed about your writing is that you tell a lot, don't show enough. Also, ...

Oh well thank you, Future Famous Writer. :) I don't necessarily want to be famous. I just want to be successful and write stories that people enjoy reading. And I'm ...

Hello, Kyousuke. First of all I'd like to say that the premise is interesting. Though a few things I noticed: Your opening paragraph, Prologue It could be said that nowadays ...

Ela crawled through the smoke. Pressure rose in her chest, and she struggled to breathe. Not now , she thought. As heat of the growing flames wafted towards her, she ...

Hello, Xreigon. First thing I'd like to say is, I like the concept of the hellhound. That's really unique. As for the story, its good so far. You've opened with ...

I'm new to this site, have already spent time reviewing some people's work and posted a sample of my own. When it comes to critiquing work on here though, I ...