Butterfly18

Wow, I really liked this piece although it made me sad. I think you did a good job with this. Just a few minor things though: I’ve always a ‘the ...

Aww, well thank you for your kind words. Though you love it as it is, there's still so much work to be done. I'm going to finish the second draft ...

This sounds like a good concept to roll with. I admire you for doing so. A little nitpick about your opening. I moaned groggily as my peaceful slumber was yet ...

Wow, that's all very helpful. Thank you. :)

Thanks, heaps. :)

Thanks. :)

So after some revision, I have issues with this chapter which I think will only be solved once I get feedback from a fresh pair of eyes. This is the ...

Oh wow, some great stuff here, phoenixwriter. Thanks a million. I'm going to copy, paste and save your critique, if you don't mind. These are the sorts of questions I ...

Thanks, Twinkle4ever. Yes I do need to work more on the hair. The tips of hair seems to give me problems because I can't seem to execute the tips right. ...

Thanks. Yes I should add a little more description about Lindsay. She plays an important role later in the story. As for her favoring, Anna. She favors all the new ...

From this small snippet, although i feel a sense of whats yet to come, I don't feel like its enough to comment on. Seems its so short, I don't think ...

Love the opening sentences. :) Grabbed me instantly. I like the characters voice. The one thing that bugged me though, there wasn't any dialogue. I can only read walls of ...

This is something I wrote to practice my first person writing and dabble in the Edgy Young Adult genre. Edgy young adult are, trendsetting (and upsetting) novels of teen lives. ...

Hello, DragonGirl. I liked the idea behind this piece. I think though, the opening was a bit of an unnecessary build up. You could lessen it so much and it'd ...

Thanks. Glad you liked it. And I'm still working on injecting some more of the emotions without making it sounds like informative exposition. Haha. :)