Busheldood

It's an interesting poem, certainly capturing the writer in the moment. I don't know if you wanted it to be a blank poem (non rhythmic) or with rhymes because i ...

Hiya! I liked your sentence structure and descriptive sense as halogirl4197 states. The topic seemed specifically chosen and a delicate one to write about: You did that very well, i ...

Thanx guys. I just came up with it when i was out on a holiday. It's not based on the movie at all, though I have seen it too...found it ...

I hope it's alright. It's a different sort of style I'm used to writing and I'd love to have all the help I can get to improve it :) Stareing ...

It was good and xoCairo was right, you do have potential. The story had a good plot, but not a lot of description. It sounded as if you had wanted ...

Wow, I really liked it. There was good description. Just a shame the way it ended so abruptly! Love to read more ;)

I find my inspiration from the things i go through in life and what happens to the people around me. I'm always thinking and imagining - "What if", - my ...

It was nice but I think you could do better ;). If you had put in a bit more description and punctuation it would help the reader get pulled into ...

Wow, I really liked this one. (I don't know why but the first paragraph seemed to rhyme). The story had a meaning and lesson to it, and also a truth ...

I do agree, you need to work on your rhyming. But i liked it because the end was very funny. It was a good poem, but could do with a ...

wow, it was a smooth, descriptive, poem and was outside the usual style people chose for this topic. But I have to agree with kcglitter there, you couldn've have put ...

Wow, it was a beautiful story. The way it didn't give too much away as it improved was very good. I like your descriptive style of writing and the way ...

Lovely, I liked the plot of this one. I'd Love to hear more of it ;)

Wow, you put something so complex into words and even made it rhym! I really liked it, well done :)

heyy, thanks for the comments guys. I'll try and see what I can do to improve :)