Brian

Ok you've obviously never been to my area of the country. There is not one local gallery within 50 mi of my home town. But actually I'm trying to find ...

I liked it. It was somewhat humorous, and you did a great job with tone and diction.

I thought that this was okay. It was melodramatic, but not terribly so, and it's a bit jumpy in places, such as: I felt like I needed to get to ...

PunCtuATion!!! Can't stress that enough. But seeing as how others have already dealt with that... You need to work on your sentence structure. In the first part, you keep on ...

How can I make the humor better, as in language, timing, etc.? The part about the homeless man staring back at the speaker was funny because it was so unexpected, ...

Your definitely good at descriptions, and I liked the general tone of the story. Some of your grammar could use help though. The first three sentences provide a good example: ...

If you want to become a full time painter or writer, then you got to be good at what you do; just like any other full-time job. If you're struggling ...

You did a good job with this! It's funny and creative.

Liked it. "like the sands of time." This seemed very out of place; you switch from being direct with a little bit of symbolism to an allusion. Plus, that phrase ...

Maybe a bit freaky, but not terrible. And because I'm nitpicky... "He was shaking mightilly his eyes were wide with terror, and he looked ready to run. After all, sometimes ...

I liked the part about the Keep's history. It was kind of oddly put in, but it supplies some background that is much needed for the benefit of the reader. ...

What inspires me? These days, I'm not really sure. For a while it was just teenage angst, then it was a girl that I was really good friends, but I ...

Part of the thing I like about YWS is that I can get lost for hours on this site. I can go review, then check out the lounge, and then ...

A couple pieces of advice when posting a chapter two (or three, or four, or whatever): 1. Always include a link to the previous chapter(s) at the very beginning. I ...

I thought that you did a good job with this. There are some typos, such as: "I jolted awake and sighed as I drug myself out of my bed and ...