Brian

Excellent poem, but I think you could gain a lot from switching to present tense throughout. For instance: "reveals the frosty underlayer of forgotten secrets, " sounds a lot better ...

I really have nothing more to add other than what Caligula already said. The imagery here is great and you got some truly excellent lines here. You should try getting ...

I didn't like the last two stanzas, but the first three were well done. Nice contrasting, and good rhyming.

I really do not think that Jesus has come back to Earth in the form of people like Ghandi. To believe in Jesus, you got to believe in the Bible, ...

Sounds like you need to get a new teacher. A teacher should only teach, not give his opinions. Thank God I knew all my teachers were idiots who were only ...

Which part? If you mean the part about squinting... ""Deep within the black stone pit, Lillian stirred, squinting up at the unfamiliar brightness" " You have two clauses here. One ...

5/10 I have no idea what it is.

Will the United States and Canada ever merge into one single country?

Americans and Canadians? Couldn't tell them apart. I've known plenty of Canucks, and save for the Maple Leaf flag all over their backpacks, they seem exactly like Americans. Of course, ...

The same color as my Grandma's bath tub. Have you used a remote control recently?

Tuesday!

You used the word chortle! That's tight. This poem is great. Loved the first stanza, especially the LCD screens part, and your descriptions are vivid and unusual. Great job.

This is a really interesting and enjoyable poem to read. Each line really has no connection to the line before or after, but still flows well and is cohesive as ...

Take out the hyphen in the first line. Also, the last line comes rather abruptly. Other than that, pretty good. The first three lines are really good, and it's an ...

I like this one :D You misspelt Captain, but it's flawless in every other sense. The poem rolls right off the tongue, and the descriptions are vivid and easy to ...