BlueShift

Heyy there. :) I take that this is one of your first poems? Well, I'm glad you're getting into it. I still have much to learn about poetry myself, but ...

Hey guys :) I took your comments into account and rewrote the last two stanzas. Hope it turned out better. o_O

Thank you so much everyone. :) You're right, the last stanza kind of took away the heavy, pensive feel that should have come with this poem. Will be reworking it. ...

Hi there :)! I understand where you were trying to get to with this piece. Here's the laundry basket--an old, dilapidated thing that's taken for granted in spite of the ...

Hello! I've recently decided that I want to write better poetry, so I'm posting one of my works on here to receive some help from y'all lovelies. I really didn't ...

Hey Jenthura! This is an interesting take on the idea of success and identity. I love the concept of "life-making", and how it's been made into a business in this ...

@DoubleThink: thanks for noting those things :). I'll be making those revisions when I put up this story somewhere else :).

@Auteur: Thanks :). I was thinking of expanding the plot, actually, because I'm sure my idea of hope and faith in the government can still be further explored.

I'm not very good at titles :(. I suggest you make it about Fluffy's diary, like, "The Villainous Accounts of Fluffy the Alien Cat". That's just a really bad example, ...

Hi Mr. Knightley! Hmm, this story seems to mirror much of that Nickelodeon cartoon, Catz or Katz or something. And I must say, the language you used here seems much ...

@Blue Princess: thanks, I'm glad you liked my story :)

Oh my, that's great :D you have spectacular taste xD

@Jenthura: Thanks for noting those details! And I did struggle with the transition a bit, thank for the suggestion :).

I love the imagery in this short piece! It achieves the mysterious, magical effect I'm sure you wanted this story to have. I also love how it appeared like the ...

I have around 300 songs in my 80GB iPod. It really is the emptiest music player in the world :(. * Owl City * Coldplay * Lifehouse * Snow Patrol ...