Bloo

I like it, 9/10

Okay Then the when caught in the act could still be there, so the other group gets stuck, runs away Fro the guards and find my group,and then they escape ...

it makes me think of old southern, cowboy, music, like the they sang in salons. KapKap13

I guess the ones who have not posted yet can stay. But if it turns out Jesse doesn't help the escape, then we can still go on. David can escape, ...

But Jesse was going to be helping our guys escape, using David's plan. So is she going to help both of them now?

Okay, so I'll post has me and John left the gym to escape. David~~ After the little escape with John I hopped he would now get with the program and ...

Well I wasn't trying to sound mean, its hard to display emotion when your typing. If i had said that, and you heard it, I would have sound calm and ...

Okay then this will be Davids new look, but it will be gone after a bit. His hair will change to light brown, and he will get colored contacts, that ...

Well sense my guy is electric I was planning to have him use something to get it apart, while they fight., Cause they would not really trust a scientist there. ...

Okay, but can you still change the electric fence thing. And The reason it did not make much sense was because they were all away from the main thing, and ...

Jok two things. One, how would John know right away what they were talking about, when he wasn't even there. Try making it more realistic, so it makes sense how ...

Well also remember half of the partials, or around that, are staying, so maybe there could also be a battle, that separates the larger group in two. and your guy ...

Cole~~ "Your good," I said, as I stabbed at him, he blocked it, but then I swiped up, again he blocked that, sliced at me, I bent back, and stabbed ...

David~~ "Good, and a bunch of the other partials can go a lot smaller, I might be able to carry them, and some can fly, so they are good too. ...

8/10 its okay, made me laugh a bit, but not much.