BlackGlasses

I like where it's going now. But there's just one thing, has time passed between the chapters? Wyes is described as in his late teens in Chapter Two, but as ...

Green = Suggested Correction , oh how he rembered remembered and sent him spawling sprawling onto his back Silly mistakes! Seriously, the best things you can do before you post ...

Green = Suggested Correction Red = Comment Lycanthropy Chapter 1 My muscles tensed , I took a quick look around and saw people carrying torches. I kept on hiding up ...

I jumped off my tree and started running on all fours. I was faster than them, but I smelled that some of them brought dogs and horse horses, not horse? ...

Red = Replacement Blue = Comment As the battle continued to streak on, Firecrow snuck under the rough raised section in the lower right hand section Get rid of one ...

Welcome to YHS. Most people will tell you that you're encouraged to critique two works before you post your own, but regardless... First of all I'd like to say that ...

This needs to be split up into paragraphs first of all. I've taken the liberty of cutting it up a little for the sake of readability. Red = Replacement Blue ...