BigBadBear

Hey! Well, I wanted to wish you luck. It seems so exciting! Well, here you go. I think this is my... best written piece yet. XD And then I have ...

Hey BBB! YOu want help? I got it! I didn't really like the way you "typed" it: She... ... He... ... It sounded a little weird when I read aloud. ...

Thanks, Ginger! Yeah, I agree that the structure is a bit off... I'll play with the words tonight and see what I can do. Thanks! Any more comments or suggestions ...

Yeah. Um... I'm not quite sure about this. I really like poetry, it just seems like I can't get better... so any advice or useful suggestions would really help me. ...

Hey! I'm Jared, and I hope that you find this critique helpful! The length isn't too terribly long... “Yes it is,” replied the cat delightedly, “That little girl you seen ...

*stares in awe* *drools a little, perhaps* Wow. I would never have expected something like this... this was truely a masterpiece! Hehe! Ok... I can't really give you any grammar ...

Haha! I didn't even realize the Harry Potter connection there with the names! I'm glad that you caught that! I guess I'll go and change Granger to something else... Hm... ...

It's just an error that YWS has. It's usually because Nate is fixing something or something like that. It's only gonna be down for a few mins. -Jared

*Grrr. I had a big long thing ready to post and then YWS went down...* - Sol Olsen - "Wait! Wait for me!" Sol squeaked as he belted out of ...

Yeah, I know that this is a copy of the SB Harborville, but it inspired me to write this. Right now, I think that it would be just fine as ...

Oh... This really happened? Wow. I didn't know that. Well, I'm sorry. I thought this was fiction... -Jared

Huh. Interesting. XD Um... I'm really terrible at poetry... but one thing that this lacks is rythm. I spelt that wrong, huh? Anywho, it just... reads like a run-on sentence, ...

The one where you are going to P.E.? Yeah, I read that. And then I had Sol run up to Samuel and talk to him... does that still mess it ...

- Sol Olsen - "Samuel! Oh, thank God that I found you!" Sol cried and rushed over to his friend. Samuel scrutinized his recent bruises and pulled back. "Did Gregory ...

XD I know. My guy is terribly shy. He will try to avoid being in the center of attention. -Jared