Bickazer

Hi, am I committing some heretical act by reviewing this chapter before I've read the rest? If that' so, feel free to hurl rotten tomatoes or what-have-you at me. The ...

Sounds like a dark-in-tone fantasy novel set in the modern world. City of the Veen

...um, does it have to be vampires? Can it be something a little less overdone than vampires, like...say, Yetis? Or aliens? Or underground cave people who've lived beneath the earth ...

La la la~! Double post is double post is bad! Well, too bad, I'm doing it anyway, as I've got the final 2.5 pages of the prologue. And if you're ...

Glad you found my comments helpful; I always try to be as big a help as I can. :) Well, the key to making Ceil not a Mary Sue has ...

Thanks so much for the critique! :) And you're right about the opening sentence--quite simply, I hate it too. The fact that I start off the whole epic with an ...

When I write in Word, I use standard size-12 Times New Roman. In WordPad, I use Arial size...ten? Or is it eight? Dang, I forget. :( Either way, they're both ...

The story seems interesting, but at the same time...a bit uncompelling. The plot's a fairly generic one, but I can definitely see you making it work. The main issue I ...

Well, I haven't posted one of these yet, so I guess I will... I'm Bickazer. I'm a high school junior (that's eleventh grade/year for those not in the states) and ...

It is more gramatically correct; the only time when you're supposed to just put an apostrophe after the word is if it ends in s, and even the Struck & ...

Yes, yes, yes, that is MUCH better. I got a much better feel for the characters this time, and the prose seems much better (i.e. less sparse) than it was ...

First off, I gotta start by saying I quite appreciate your username, Mr. Reuben. Mostly because these days I've been craving a Reubeun sandwich like all hell. Anyway...onward ho with ...

Sorry if I sound a bit cruel, but... So far, the story seems hideously generic. I was interested, but only vaguely, and certainly not enough to continue reading. Zakulas seems ...

Wow... That was just wonderful. I know you didn't like it much, but really--I haven't read the other chapters of this story, whatever it is, but already I found myself ...

And rather then being rivals Ash and Krill genuinely hate each other with a passion. Well, okay, but does Krill have any redeeming features? It's things like this that make ...