Bhayden71297

Most of my short stories end without telling you what EXACTLY happened. The point of WHY Rosie was being taken away was not the set of the story, but as ...

Darn it! I changed those few things you have mentioned before...hm...whatever. Thanks for the compliment though :) Very appreciated, -Brie

Thanks both of you! Ill look into your suggestions! :) -brie

I like this. It's cute :) Made me laugh at the irony in it. A perfectly normal teacher in a perfectly normal school when all of the sudden..BAM! Here comes ...

I love the depressing, dark, sad stories. They always touch me :) I tried to push him away, but…The car only shattered my arm, but he didn’t make it. You ...

(contest entry for- The Little Things, by BlueAfrica) With trembling fingers she picked up the envelope. Her gaze flicked from the envelope itself to the address in the left hand ...

I think it flowed nicely! Though the chapter was short, it explained alot. :) Great job, please continue. -Brie

(Any sort of comments are welcome. Tell me what you think, please) She couldn’t take the pull towards the veil much longer. The light was a blinding gleam, so alluring ...

I liked it in general, pieced nicely. What caught me right away was your second sentence. For some reason I stumbled through that. It didn't flow like the rest. His ...

Congrats! This poem flows nicely and tells a story. Don't worry though, in a couple of days you'll be ecstatic! (hopefully) ;) A tear falls from my green eyes, and ...

Be careful about being too descriptive. If you use too many adjectives to descibe one thing, it just makes it sound awkward. Let the reader's mind wander, and see what ...

Thanks you two ^.^ -Brie

The short sentences created a dramatic effect. I love simple sentences like that...may be my favorite :) But I agree with the previous comment. SOME sentences could be altered together. ...

I completely agree with the message you have encoded. Nice poem, it made me laugh...and think of a few people as well. -Brie

Absolutely Brilliant. I loved it. Very dark and compelling, but tells a story so sadly true. Was not too simple, nor too descriptive. Loved it. -Brie