Bhayden71297

First of all... WOW! Great picture I get. But... Cut down on the descriptive words. Too many adjectives....too much describing. Leave the readers some room to let their imagination figure ...

I like this a lot :) I was gonna do this contest too but I decided against it. But as it seems, you've done very well on following the rules ...

I agree with the person above. This is very intruging and then you get to the end and..splat. It just dies. Maybe if you spaced it out more? Give it ...

The first the thing that caught my eye right away...was your use of "I". I highlighted them in apurplish..that you can barely see XD Sorry... I wondered if I was ...

I love it :) Aboslutely awesome! How many parts will there be? Brilliant work, -Brie

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Someone in my family went through the same thing you did I recently found out. So sad..not even close to right. :/ Great poem, touching. Very... Sorry bout what happened ...

Thanks alot mellophone7! :) Your comment means much, -Brie

Wow. If this is how your feeling, then we have a lot in common. I could relate to this so well...maybe even a little too well... Great job. Dark and ...

Thanks...i wrote this last night. When I'm upset, or have something on my mind, I write a poem. So, basically, they are all real life experiences in my life.

(Tell me what you think. Any review is fine..) If I love him And he loves me What’s in the way? What’s keeping us apart? Leaving me to wonder To ...

I really like this :) Really really really like this...love it! There are a few grammatical mistakes though. And I'll be happy to point a few out for you. Her ...

Grammar is what you need to go over for this piece. And watch out with using so many adjectives. Yes I know they make the piece seem longer and more ...

Thanks :) And your first observation about the "A movement besides her had her," it is supposed to be a her. I'm in the middle of rewording that. I know ...

That's okay! You have good skills and great potential... :) If you ever have a question, people are very helpful. Just send someone a personal message and no doubt they'll ...