BenFranks

Hey there! Wow, your feature work is brilliant! I think this is because of the good proportions here. I think they're just right excluding maybe shoulder width and the neck ...

Hey there! This was a fun-read. I like fun-reads :) Nice. An improvement? Er, write a little more so we can succumb to more effect, that'll be fab! Sorry about ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS! Unfortunately, I disagree with the above, but hey. Okay, in poetry I think grammar's extremely important because it creates fluency as well as tone. I'm ...

This was okay, but its hard to make such a poem vary to every audience unless you give it that extra punch of effect. Personally I think you're lacking it ...

Okay. My favourite thing about your poem is the start, it's well structured, has a nice fluency to sollow and I like the choice of words. It's when you get ...

Thankyou everyone! Wonderful advice! I'll be posting Chapter 4 by next week if any of you are interested. Cheers again, Ben.

Thankyou Pink! :) Ben

Okay, Hi there! Good start no? XD Anyway, the poem! My first suggestion is to get rid of these "..." they're heart breakers for fluency. If you want someone to ...

Ah you see, that's more my column writing. When I write poetry I like to make it a "fun-read" rather than a "meaningful heart wrencher" if you get what I ...

Wow, that's horrible. You have my sympathies and you're very courageous.

Thankyou! :D Ben.

This was only two weeks ago (give or take) :) Twenty years. Twenty full years since I was in this house. This was one of my favourite openings. I know ...

Hey, just quickly mentioning the two following books: -> "The World According to Clarkson: For Crying Out Loud" . Good if you enjoy dry humour . Good if you like ...

I'd go with Karsten's advice actually :D

Thanks Amy :) And Yes, I am. Sorry XD. Plot development's superior to everybody's love for Carter. :) Hehe. Ben