Bella

It seems a lot like a verse out of a song or something. I loved the beginning, but I think it got a little....um....*searching for lacked flow at the end. ...

I like it, but there's also something I don't like about it. Perhaps it's the scene you chose to describe, or the way you described it. The one part that ...

Val- "Now Max!" I said quietly, knowing his vampire sense would kick in and he would hear me. I walked toward Natan, never faulting nor slowing, even as the magic ...

Isabella- "Ho Natan!" I said, trying to be conversational. I swear he rolled his eyes at me. "What are you doing here?" he replied unenthusiastically, not moving from where he ...

Val~ I ran back to the cave. "Help!" I cried, finding Isabella and Max. They would be most capable at helping, I was sure. "Natan is being strange...like his body ...

Val~ I listened to Natan's cold words, followed by something that sounded at least slightly human. He was walking away again though, and we needed to keep him close. I ...

Val~ "Natan, Natan are you okay!?" I said loudly, kneeling next to him and looking into his face. He was on the floor, writhing and whimpering. "Get out..." the words ...

Granted, but now you're grounded from the internet, and all the games on the computer, making the computer virtually useless. Also, they take the monitor away. I wish I wasn't ...

Isabella~ I walked toward Natan, keeping my eyes lowered, but blocking his view of the others. He seemed pretty angry...I hoped he wasn't as bad as earlier. "Natan?" I asked ...

"Cleanliness is ok, to an extent. Don't get me wrong, I love getting dirty, but I can't stand to stay dirty. Ugh." ~Melania "Yay, dirt!" ~Jeremy "Um...what?" ~Morgan *What beverage ...

7/10 I sounds good, but rather cliched, as you slightly pointed out. It also seems like the man would have to be very VERY gullible to believe he were dead ...

Valentina~ "A cave sounds like a decent idea," I agreed, joining the others. Natan was beginning to stir, and I didn't want to be holding him in my arms when ...

Isabella~ After I while, I managed to talk Max into putting me down. "You do realize you're wasting your efforts, right?" I asked, leaning against his warmth. "What do you ...

Isabella~ I knew what Max was trying to do. I knew that he was trying to frighten me. I examined my hand as he walked, pretending that I wasn't doing ...

Bella and Alice followed the two boys to the ship. "This is it," the one holding Bella's arm said. The other boy had reached up and pulled the tarp off ...