BelarusBirdy

The voice behind me turned away and started down another tunnel. Stupid people. I know what I'm doing, despite popular belief. I have no choice but to follow, like a ...

I added to it, if you're interested.

(OOC: Night!) Storm: I lead the way. I know the directions by heart. It's right, past two intersections, left, and straight forward. Down two floors on the first ladder, left, ...

Yeah. I plan to make it long, and thanks for the advice. I'm nothing if not stubborn and determined, and having a book published has been a dream since I ...

"I've been under low security my whole stay. No trouble before this. I've memorized the tunnels on every map in this building. What floor are we on? I think it's ...

I love this story. I didn't see anything small, no errors. I can so easily relate to this, except I burn my writings sometimes instead of dropping them in the ...

Sorry, this review isnn't going to be much help. I really liked your poem, and I want to hear more! Keep Writing, Bel

"I found a tunnel under the tile and got out when no one was looking. I knocked the doctor escorting Xia to weapons testing unconscious, and I killed the guard ...

I agree. It needs to be expanded on, and imagery is really good at that. Try to add detail, because you have a good idea. I like short poetry, but ...

(OOC: Me too.) Storm: I scrambled down the ladder after Drustan and Xia. It seemed like there were three or four other people down there, but add the darkness and ...

I see you're new, so let me welcome you to YWS. Don't take this to personally, I like to find little errors and correct them. I'm also really obsessive over ...

(OOC: you should make Judd open the door!! I don't want to wait for other people to get online...)

"One more grenade, but I don't know if it will blast through metal," I said.

I agree. Breaking it up into paragraphs would make it both look better and be easier to read. Also, great emotion shown here. Keep writing, Bel

I tried not to display my shock on my face. My voice keeps betraying me. Ever since this Drustan kid showed up, I can't control it. A deep breath. Calm. ...