Balaczter

Aside from the comments above, again you need to do some more sentence variety and showing. But I went on a whole ramble about that in Chapter 2, I think. ...

On a deadly quiet night with no moon, a large ship sat anchored out to sea two-hundred miles from land, completely unaware of the danger less than a mile away. ...

First thing that struck me as I read this: most of the sentences have the exact same structure. And that makes the reader fall asleep. For example: The woman gave ...

This is going to sound harsh but I lost a lot of reader interest because of so little telling, not showing. I am really guilty of it as well, though, ...

Really nice poem, enjoyed it at lot. :D It's about two lovers and one of them gets called to join up in a war, right? I loved your metaphors, of ...