Baboon

This is very cool and well written, I'd love to see where this goes. I personally would inject a little more description and setting, but that's probably just me :P ...

Thnx a lot crazy :) other chapters of this will be less weird and more understandable i promise ok :P

OK, so i originally posted this without a real title, but ive changed it so much ive decided that giving it a title wouldnt matter. Plz review :lol: Gotta warn ...

Thanks again for the helpful advice. Hmmm cotonrulz you have given me an idea...lol Ill redo this and post it again sometime soon, hope you all re-review hahah

Woah this is excellent! Pace and flow work brilliantly, characters are believable and interesting and the story is captivating. I wanna read more!!! Seriously, really really good. But PLEASE kill ...

Woah this is excellent! Pace and flow work brilliantly, characters are believable and interesting and the story is captivating. I wanna read more!!! Seriously, really really good. But PLEASE kill ...

Yaaaay first reviews lol :P Thanks a lot for the time you spent reviewing and I see what you're all saying...mostly hahah But seriously thanks. Hmm I don't really have ...

I know this is really short, but think of it as a small preview type thing. Please. :P ------------------------------------------------------------- The stale air of the room was as still as its ...

This is gooooooooood. I like how you start with action to make us want to read more, then explain to us the background and build tension, and then build up ...

Hey pretty crazy urm im new as well haha but ill give reviewing your story a shot. Ok so firstly your pace is great! Normally i prefer the slower, more ...