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Babanuuk

  • Other Poetry Re: What Am I?

    scribblingquill: Ha, ha. :D Yes, honesty would probably be my crutch. Well, originally it wasn't backwards, but I hoped forcing the reader to puzzle it out would make the poem ...

    Jul 16, 2009
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Fantasist

    Wow, this is so creative! Instead of pointing out typos or other mechanical errors, I'd like to offer a suggestion- Take it or leave it. :wink: I think you are ...

    Jul 16, 2009
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: In My Sweet Captivity

    You did a fantastic job creating suspense!! That's an honest to goodness skill. Still, if your writing doesn't have intention , the tension unravels and your audience gets lost. This ...

    Jul 16, 2009
  • Archive Re: Strys

    ANGEL "I can and I will. “Angel, I have seen the once great man you were. You don't need those potions. Look at yourself! I found you face down on ...

    Jul 16, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: What Am I?

    Hello, I think the content is very good. But I wouldn't have thought it to be a human. That suspense, really held me. But being a human is what you ...

    Jul 16, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: What Am I?

    What am I? I am a hardened lump of play-do- A fossilized handprint with tiny outstretched digits that will never grab or grow. I am a nightlight with a burned ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: In the Boxes Under the Bed

    Heyro, Babs here. :D This is such a cool bit of writing. My interpretation: In the beginning the person is looking to the past- symbolized by photographs- and there is ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: Grave New World.

    I really, really like this piece. Despite what M. says, I do believe you are actually talking about flowers and not grapes; the first four lines are simply a long ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Shiver

    I really only have one critique, which you've heard already- Colorful word usage. A sprinkling of suspense. An unpredictable punch in the gut. These are things that could improve this ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Baptism of an Affair

    M. - I absolutely agree; "the" should be "this." Anticlimax? ...yeah. I suppose I let the poem end itself. After all, I wrote it in Algebra class. Who knew math ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Ode to Neruda

    Hmm, I cannot be sure if this work is personal or if you are expressing despair at the current state of the world... provoking. :) The first stanza is clutching. ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: 17

    M.: Thank you for your honest review! I see what you mean about the third and fourth stanzas clashing- it is a complete change in direction. In fact, now that ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Archive Re: Strys

    NORA “Might I join you?” I am startled by this new voice, and it is a moment before I realize the question was posed to both Lorcan and myself. With ...

    Jul 14, 2009
  • Archive Re: Strys

    ((Sorry I have not posted for Angel in so long. Frankly I haven't felt up to it…)) ((scd: I know in your post you said that Angel was on break, ...

    Jul 14, 2009
  • Narrative Poetry Re: SOS

    Ahhh. I should have known you would outsmart me.

    Jul 13, 2009


May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of your life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death.
— An Unknown Bride, Leap Year