BFG

Ok. So the idea you're starting with is good in the sense that it's probably something you feel strongly about, but also challenging because it's something lots of people have ...

I like the idea of a speaker that wasn't Earthly and yet also wasn't an angel. It left me wondering who it was, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. ...

I loved this piece right up until the part Are you holding on tightly to me? We are going for a ride now, hold too tightly now, we are taking ...

This is fabulous! The rhyme scheme and the pentameter work wonders on any poem, but this had a good subject to go with, as well as some beautiful descriptions. Really ...

First off I think this is a terrific poem. The characters have depth to them, there's movement, you start off in one place and end in another. Really good. I ...

There are some good specific images in the first and last stanzas. I think this would be more powerful if it were expanded with details about the people, particularly the ...

Four, and my first was Ten Men, one of the Bob's Books series. I knew The Very Hungry Caterpillar by heart before that, and would "read" it to anyone who ...

I liked the idea, but it was a little long. I actually didn't mind the repetition - it sort of reminded me of the poem "The Leader" by Roger McGough. ...

Thanks for critiquing! Looking on back on this I'm recognizing that in fact I, too, dislike this style - it feels very amateurish. When I wrote this poem I had ...

I loved this - it's really wonderful. The line about the mouth is great. I'd rework the title, so it doesn't give away the best line of the poem, and ...

I like the line Her feet are her Only friend. Much of the rest of the poem was unoriginal, but that line was quite nice. What you need here are ...

Good night bears, good night chairs... in the picture they're sitting at a table, aren't they? the bears, i mean. "good night moon" doesn't even come til pretty late on, ...

In Honesty: I'd probably read this first bit, flip through a few pages in the middle to make sure it picked up and went somewhere, and then take it up ...

I agree. The single best way to become a better poet is to read more poetry. This was good, especially for a first poem. You have a really interesting idea ...

I bring my notebook - my shell- with me into the 'wide world'. Most of the time I never open it, but it's there for reassurance just in case. I'm ...