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BFG

BFG

  • Lyric Poetry Re: Honestly Ugly

    Hm. I'm not sure which version I like better, actually. The big chunk you added at the end of the second draft-- Men pass by her And look her up ...

    Jan 15, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: What Summer Tastes Like

    I like the essence of it a lot, and that you didn't just stick to the romantic "campfire glowing, trees rustling" stuff but also included Gatorade and trucks. It was ...

    Jan 9, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Impressions

    I agree with clue about the ending and guitargirl about the lack of meaning. This reads like a Bob Dylan song--like Changing of the Guard, or Desolation Row or something. ...

    Jan 9, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: A child's dream.

    I love the last stanza--it's practically begging to be quoted. I like the poem as a whole, though I didn't the first time I read it. The title is apt ...

    Jan 9, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: my poem

    Hi Destiny! I'm the BFG. I see you're new to YWS--welcome! Before I get around to reviewing your poem, you should know that YWS tries to keep a 2:1 ratio ...

    Jan 8, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Orange Cat

    I like this a lot. The first stanza is GORGEOUS, definitely my favorite. It has a swing to it, an escalation, like a cat leaping. I think, though, that I ...

    Jan 7, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: My Rant About How Stephenie Meyer Annoys Me

    I liked this a lot, and my appreciation of it oddly enough has nothing to do with Twilight or people who read Twilight. I found it very poetic, in a ...

    Jan 7, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: Sister child

    I love the tone of this piece, as gentle and patient as the child I read into it. I thought it was a mother's perspective, but I wasn't sure. Not ...

    Jan 7, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: Mile-marker Zero

    I like the personification, but I think it should be introduced right from the start. Also, I think the poem would be more powerful if it were shorter. The end ...

    Jan 6, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: Edgar Allan Poe (revised completely)

    I like the last couplet, the way it reflects the way he died, being beaten and all. I wonder, though, if you could incorporate "Nevermore" into things a bit more, ...

    Jan 6, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: Pancakes

    However, at some points the rhyming seems too forced, but because this poem was for fun it's fine. I agree the rhyming was forced at points. I disagree that it's ...

    Jan 6, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: Moth

    I thought this was a beautiful, touching poem. I loved how the moth is the older, wiser person, a "Mrs". At first when I scanned the poem I thought I ...

    Jan 6, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Daddy's Little Girl

    I like the change of tone at the end, it was a nice surprise finish. But this to me reads more like a paragraph than a poem. If it weren't ...

    Jan 6, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: lost in death

    This didn't draw me in that well, partly because the cliches just slid right past me, didn't even enter my ear. That's the problem with cliches; if you hear or ...

    Jan 6, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Pure White Walls

    Nice! I like it. One suggestion I have is to cut out some line breaks and make the longer, so it's less choppy to read. I like the way the ...

    Jan 4, 2009


Just because you don't feel like a hero in your own story, doesn't mean you're not a hero in someone else's.
— Tenyo