AyumiGosu17

Character Name: Adrianne Perdue (Ah-dree-AHN per-DUE) a.k.a. Adri (Ah-dree) Age: 16 Gender: female Role: free-lance detective, reporter, and weapons specialist Country: France General info: Although s

Not a bad prolouge. It's doing its job and drawing in the reader. But may I suggest a few things? You need to describe the people and emotions better if ...

((Isn't it Pie's turn to post? Where is everyone?))

(Oh okay. I gotcha. I'll use weapon conversion in the future. As far my post goes, I hadn't intended it to sound like I had half-defeated it. I just meant ...

((Uh...I'll pretend I understood that...weapons conversion?)) Karana I met the husk head-on, sword in hand. It paused it's spinning long enough for me to slide underneath it, between its legs. ...

Karana I saw Luke fall, stunned. He'd be sore after that hit, I knew! I loosed three more arrows, two of them striking the Husk, one of them in an ...

Karana I clung to Ilum as the whole cavern shook. The children in the cages began to scream in terror, running to the back of the small chambers they were ...

Karana What should we do? What should we do?! What...! I thought hard for a second. "Ryouku! What spell would be best against it?" I shouted at the top of ...

(Ah, okay. Thanks for clarifying that!)

Karana "Ilum!" I ran to his side. It worried me to see him so shaky and slow about sitting up. "Ilum? Are you okay?" I knelt beside him, putting an ...

((Where is everyone? What happened?!?!?!?))

Karana She just scoffed at my question. "He got drunk, let him deal with the hangover." I snorted when Warren moaned and sat back down, head in his hands. It ...

Karana Raven nodded, but I knew she understood why I had said that. I felt my face grow hot with the blush, which was an instant giveaway. I couldn't help ...

Karana I lay there, pretending to be asleep. I heard Ilum get up and move his matress, but I didn't want to give away my own restlessness. Apparently Luke was ...

Karana I glared after Seeker as he flew higher and higher towards the speck of light. "Wait! Look!" I cried out, pointing at the source. "A way out!" "Aw, dang...this ...