AyumiGosu17

Drake I noticed how the rain drops hissed when they met her skin. What was going on? That wasn't natural... "My cave is just over here," I said, turning as ...

Drake I cocked an eyebrow at her. Was she being coy? Friendly, certainly. "By your appearance..." I thought for a moment. "Some sort of demon or shapeshifter?"

**My character is kinda...well, IS unconscious, so...SOMEBODY FREAKIN' POST!!!!

**That sounds good! I like that. Yeah, why don't we do that? As for what to do...I was hoping the others would post, but if they don't write something by ...

**I hear you; that was just all I had at the moment...I plan on posting something soon.**

Drake I snapped my jaws in surprise. A smart move, indeed. This traveler and her companions were no fools, and were probably even lethal. Fine. My name is Draciem, but ...

name: Kal age: 18 gender: male species: elf personality: he is generally calm and distant, but has a wild side, compassion, and a temper occupation: mercenary Magic(your choice): mystic (like ...

Audra I gasped. Marry me? He was going to marry me? It was a shock, but...I liked the thought. I held onto his hand with my free one as I ...

Karana I could feel my throat being slowly crushed. Kujimaru had increased the pressure slightly, apparently to provoke Kai even more. I couldn't eyesight was going black... "Or what?" Kujimaru ...

**Amber, you need to work on your posts a little. There are a lot of mistakes in them, and they're a bit short...** Tegan I considered her question and nodded. ...

Audra Kai moved in front of me, wrapping his arms around me. Another loud bang. Blood splattered onto me and streamed along his side, onto my hand. Onto me. He ...

Karana I smiled, hoping the action would lessen the blush and stiffness in Ilum; it did the exact opposite. He turned his back to me, stiffer than when I had ...

Once again, a very well written story! But also, there are still those parallelism errors and the red italics. I think just plain italics would work fine. Love it!

It was almost sunset when Kai was on his way him. Shouldn't that be "home" instead of "him?" Kai gasped as he saw someone standing directly in front of him. ...

I'm critiquing as I go... There are a lot of parallelism mistakes. Like this for instance: “Thanks Mom.” Kai took a seat at the table and started eating. His house ...