Auteur

I'm trying to work on my character development. Giving them their own voice, yadda yadda. This is a rough draft. Please review :) * * The knife looked tempting. I'd ...

Welcome to YWS :)

Euh, je ne sais pas comment revue de poésie. Parce que cela arrive dans toutes les sortes, donc je vais le laisser pour les professionnels. Anywhos, je l'ai aimé. Il ...

Bonjour Dalliance, d'une part, les capitales utiliser pour vos commandes. Cela peut sembler assez d'avoir tout en minuscules, mais il ya des tas de ballots de ponctuation ici et ils ...

Thank you! (: I'll get down to fixing that up. It was just a rough draft^^

So I said, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest." Sometimes I like to stare at the ocean. In the early ...

Not going to nitpick, since I've seen some people already have, but I do have one comment. Auteur, you said you liked the opening line, but not how it was ...

Death is an interesting thing. Selise was only sixteen and seven months when her body was found in the sewer tunnels beneath the bridge. It was blocked for almost nine ...

That night, I watched myself die. Absolutely love this opening sentence. However something seems a bit off-key, the way it's structured. Maybe you could change it to: "I watched myself ...

Wind cut her ears and she winced; water filling her eyes and smudging the brown inside of them. Smudging the brown inside them? What does that even mean? I have ...

I rather like this :) Not sure how you could improve it, it's too short for editing. Nice and simple as it is.

I'm trying to work on the atmosphere of the story. Oh and the way I wrote the dialogue is just an experiment. Tell me what you think about it overall ...

IIIIIII don't characters do ;] And thanks, I'll remove some of it.

Haha yeah ! I tried writing "Nobody's" but it wouldn't allow that . . .

The light barely shifted; a stream of harsh sunlight slipping over my fingers and burning my flesh. I was too exhausted to scream, and in a desperate attempt I quickly ...