Arekkusu

Dancers fighting? Hmm, it's an idea that has potential, and it's been well planned, and has good plot. Split up your chapters though. You aren't meant to put your entire ...

Hmm, im the first person to review, am i? I suppose i should be nice, so on with the harsh critique... This needs to be looked through. And don't even ...

Ok, the language and punctuation here is terrible, and a proper review will come when you've changed the punctuation and text speak. Notify me when that severe change happens, won't ...

Hmmm, this was a good read, but, as i'm sure other people have no doubt told you, it needs punctuation. Capitals, and add in colons and semi-colons. You need to ...

Hmmm. An exceedingly gory and blood curdling read, which is some thing in the description of me. I liked it. It had varying sentance leangths, and was very descriptive. Could ...

Review facts. The warhammer 40 K Rule book will help. Basic Words are in there. Think back to primary school. Punctuation is needed here. Read about the Space Marines, and ...

Vyper walked through the woods, brushing off flies. Stupid Germany. Why did he have to be in the forest with the most bugs in Germany? Crack. A twig snapped behind ...

Wow. A great insight to death's personality. but i think the line "when the dead know peace the mortals cry" should be longer. maybe "when the dead know finally know ...

banned for meeting death

I brought the metal sliver towards my lips and licked it. I threw it on the ground. “It tastes like shit!” I pushed the metal IV stand down and it ...

I brought the metal sliver towards my lips and licked it. I threw it on the ground. “It tastes like shit!” I pushed the metal IV stand down and it ...

comment please

Vyper was now in a really bad mood. His victim had been killed by another assassin and his favourite doughnut shop had run out of Bear Claws. The good part ...

I'm Arekkusu, and will be your critical guy for today. straight in... "they treated and bandaged her burnt hand thrice a day." i wouldn't use the thrice part. it makes ...

Last breath; short and quick