Ardor

Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Aw

I liked the last paragraph, but I have to admit I loved the chapter. I have read chapter 17, and I think it's great. But I wouldn't say end it ...

This wasa really nice read. No, I'm serious. I felt so free and relaxed while reading your piece. That was simply excellent. Keep it up! I especially liked your description ...

I, personally, found the characters a bit confusing to understand. I don't know why, but the dialogue feels a bit..strange. I know that doesn't sound specific enough for you, but ...

Holy crap! My name is actually Adam, so this is a massive coincidence. Aww, this is really sweet. You should continue it. It would make a great romantic novel. Yeah, ...

Great second part! I preferred this one to the last part, simply because of the humour you have added in. May I ask of you intend to finish this novel? ...

Yeah that line about chicken suicide was funny, but other than that it was great. It has a unique title, and reminds me of something of the album The Holy ...

I don't think it fits as a journal. I think it has the potential to be told as a story. I liked how you made it modern and very of ...

Very very very very good. Not to mention excellent. I love your use of structure- it is very varied but not too varied. You have a nice balance and you ...

Yes! That was really good. You have made that very similar experience realistic and more familiar to other readers. What I really love about your piece is the dialogue. It ...

I like how you have developed this novel. It kind of reminds me of Sandman by Neil Gaiman: how the angels interactand stuff. It seems interesting now that you mention ...

I think you overused the use of profanity in this piece. As I have learnt, you can't base the whole story around f bombs. I will admit, the opening line ...

THAT WAS KUWL. Sorry for my spelling, I was experimenting. I hope that you are able to finish this novel. I am appalled by teh fact this has no reviews ...

Well that was...great. It had a really nice flow with plenty of action. You are clearly an expert in setting up a scene. You seem to understand these characters. You ...

Very good. Although I preferred the first part, I still think this is a good chapter. It still has that idea of feeling like an outsider which I loved about ...